Back Off Work Again

In September I was off work for 3 weeks due to my mental health and then went back at the beginning of October. I didn’t know whether it was the right time to go back to work or not but was hard to tell whether I was feeling better just cause I wasn’t at work or because I was starting to feel better overall.

Was back at work for 2 weeks however wasn’t feeling any better being there and in fact probably starting to feel worse. Also noticed that it wasn’t just at work that I was starting to feel bad and struggle, the transition from being at work then coming home I found difficult for the first 30mins – 1hr. Putting on the face for being at work but then feeling miserable when home and irritable and out of sorts.

I was continuing to try and work plus get some help and support however the deciding factor for needing more time off was when I had a panic attack at work. Wasn’t feeling great that day but getting through it then I had to deal with more than one thing at once and brain went into meltdown. In normal circumstances what I had to deal with was nothing and just general day to day stuff that comes with the job but at that point was overwhelmed with it.

My panic attacks usually take the form of feeling like I am about to throw up or pass out and whole body feelings tingling, don’t usually get to the stage of not being able to breath but my breathing doesn’t feel normal and more panicky.

I finished the day and is quite often the case probably cause you over compensate you then appear to be on top form. I already had planned to go for a bike ride after work that day and it was probably the best thing for me to do. As the hours passed from leaving work I realised very much needed some more time off and couldn’t go back with how I was feeling.

So I am now signed off work again and this time for 4 weeks so I have a longer break away from it before I even need to start thinking about what I want to do next. For how I was feeling it was the right decision to go for and it is now working out where I go from here.

The photos are from a walk Kat and I did at Loch Ard last week, we got absolutely soaked but still a stunning place to be at this time of year with all the colours. Apart from that have had a fairly chilled week, met up with a few friends ( on separate days to keep within restrictions), read a lot and been playing my xbox more. Trying to focus on doing things that make me feel good.

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