Feeling Like A Man

Almost at the end of Sunday and I haven’t done a blog yet, wasn’t really sure what to write about and had thought about not even doing one but here I am. Also contemplated not blogging about this subject but decided I do want to write about it.

As I have talked about before in other blogs I am a trans man who is at the beginning of my transition. I have changed my name and am publicly transition in terms of being out to my family and friends. Work I have gone in as male with a few people knowing because they knew me before hand. However I am pre-T so there hasn’t really been that many changes to my body yet which means I still get periods.

That time of the month has never been something which I have found easy, now that I have discovered that I am trans it makes more sense but even just from the amount of pain that I get from having them. Ibuprofen is very much my friend during that time. Find my emotions are lot more up and down as well which is partly due to the hormones themselves but also that this is such a feminine thing and a stark reminder every month of being in the wrong body.

Yes I know it passes , it is only for a few days and it doesn’t take away from my transition. It doesn’t make me any less of a man but wow it is hard going through each month. Also this month I forgot to take painkillers with me to work and went through a hell of day in terms of pain levels, was the worst it has been in a while.

When a part of your body that you shouldn’t have as a man hurts that much it is hard to feel male. It very much sets of gender dysphoria but you just have to try and get through it the best that you can cause there isn’t any other option. There is an end point to it once on T and get to the point of them stopping but that is many months away yet.

Last night before heading out for the evening it set off a major case of dysphoria however just tried to let it be there and then for it to pass which is did. Most of the time to the world I present as male and that makes a huge difference. Inside most of the time I am male to myself and those few other times I just need to get through.

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