Decisions, Decisions

Few days at work where finding it harder and there in body but not really much else. Monday was a prime example of this and though it took a few attempts I did eventually talk to my line manager about.

After all the hassle I have had regarding support at work she has been great since I opened up and talked about what has been happening the past couple of years. She suggested going to see my doctor to have the discussion regarding some time off.

After a bit of a chat with him he suggested that with not being at work on Tuesday and feeling in a better place for it that maybe a short period of time off would be beneficial. I didn’t decided then and there but instead went home to talk it through with Kat and decide.

Couldn’t decide last night and to be fair this morning was the same. Could see it from both sides. If you have followed my blog for a while you will know how tough I found it last year not having the work aspect in my life however even I could see this was completely different.

This isn’t about not being able to work but actually more just needing a bit of time out to not have work to think about. I came to the decision finally that I would take that time and focus on just giving myself some time to get my head more in the game.

Part me was like well it doesn’t matter what I do, no matter how much time I take off it doesn’t change the fact that my dad is dead. And no it doesn’t, nothing is ever going to change that but that isn’t what it is about. It is about giving myself the time to look after myself, to do some emotional hygiene ( have watched a lot of TED talks on YouTube this week and the latest one I watched was about this).

So currently sitting in the sun in the park reading ‘ Cracked, Not Broken’ by Kevin Hines. One of the many videos have watched on YouTube recently and wow this guy is inspiring. Please go check him out. Have just started reading his book but after listening to him knew that I wanted to get it and read it ASAP. Will let you know how I get on.

Life has changed so much in the past few months that it just feels right to take this time to myself and let myself be.

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