Think has been good to have the long weekend up here and the time to sort out stuff. Always feels good to achieve something and be able to see it physically.
Hadn’t been looking forward to coming back up and anxiety levels had been up because of it but think it has managed to have the opposite effect and just slow and calm everything down. Feeling a lot more stable and calm now.
The main factor it is there hasn’t been loads to think about or do while here. It has been about using the time just to do the task at that point and then move on to the next one. So having the time to just not think which has been great.
Also anything that has come into my head to think about I have been able to do that , not have to force it or push it away at that point because of other things going on but I suppose let it flow through my head and then that to be it for that thought. Makes a nice change.
Going through the outdoor gear has brought back some happy memories. And yeah it is unbelievably hard and sad that my dad isn’t here any more but it is good to know that a lot of the gear I can keep and continue to use. Many more memories will be created with it over the years to come.
I know that there will be plenty more what seems to be unbearable moments in the future with the grief of losing him but for the time being I am taking this moment of calm and going with it.