Yesterday was my first time driving up north since the day my dad died and with that the first time coming to the house since my dad died.
Never going to be easy especially the first time. Anxiety levels had been pretty high this week I am guessing a lot due to that, though yesterday they were actually fairly okay. Little bits that found hard but overall journey went fine.
Hard being back in the house especially right at the start. Everything feels the same but isn’t. Oh so normal but massively not and never will be. Very quiet but extremely loud for what is missing.
Took some time out to play with Maia in the sun when we first got here which was exactly what I needed.
Here to go through the outdoor gear and start sorting that out. Going to be hard times in that when it is crushing grief and missing him but along with it good memories and gear that I can use in the future.
There is no easy path to follow when it comes to working through all of this.